Not having been around here that long, I really didn't have much of an idea how you were personally. It's interesting to see how others percieve us as opposed to how we percieve ourselves. A lot of people wouldn't have the nerve to ask that, let alone actually listen to what others say. That speaks volumes in itself, Steph.

Steph when I posted in the negative comment section I did so rather jokingly. To tell the truth I think you are a rather well rounded level headed person. All the more so because you are open to self reflection and the opinions of others. I some times think you are to hard on yourself and pushing yourself to hard. Just my protective side kicking in. Please take my comments in the negative very very lightly.

The trouble with exercises like these is one of perspective. Is there a difference between who you are *right now* vs who you *actually* are? I mean, if you had asked people to do this 8 months ago would you get the same answers?

I've only known you for about a year and a half and for the bulk of that time on a fairly superficial level (ie more than your average member but less than, say, Raven or ambrosia, or HB) so my impression of you re: these two exercises has been formed pretty much over the last 6 or 8 months. Is my impression correct? ie. is how you are dealing with your breakup and new life showing something deep about your personality or is it an aberration? Hard for me to say but hard times *do* tend to bring out deeply held personality traits.

So.. to my choices:

glum: in your case I know this is a temporary emotion but, again.. it might be that you have a propensity to glumness in emotional situations.
withdrawn: ditto

unhappy: I chose this one because it was you who initiated the end of your relationship and also because of your desire to move away to try new things. While this isn't always a sign of unhappiness with your current situation I think that this is part of it. Also I trust that you'll know that I don't necessarily see this as a bad thing.

selfish: you've covered this one

impatient: and this one

distant: this one was a tough choice for me and it's partly related to my choice of glum and withdrawn but there's more to it. I'm not sure that I can properly explain this in a few words but the 'distance' I see is related to you and your site and your relation to it and the members/followers/stephites/minions. While you are sharing your life with everyone here in a way that very few people do and while I know that you are really sharing something real in your life (as opposed to some sort of fabrication/persona) you're still way over there in your apartment, not *actually* spending time with those people. To me the online interaction is nice and I've met some people here with whom I will be fast friends but it's a poor substitute for the real thing (ie face to face friendship).

I suppose it's a bit of a paradox that one can be close and distant, social and anitsocial at the same time but that's how I see it. ie are you sharing all of this to reach more people or are you sharing all to allow yourself to be more isolated? I can't really answer this until I know you a bit better.. but it's an impression I have.

Which brings me to my last point, related to my comment about perspective. These exercises tend to say more about the person making the categorizations rather than the subject (ie more about me than you).

The inherant problem with those two sites is it's not really doing anything productive, for either you or the person submitting. These words, both positive and negative, are meaningless words from anyone that you don't really know and even from those you do.

It's always interesting to know how one comes across to everyone else, including strangers, but to try to boil it down to picking five words that are by their very nature way too general, even to the point of being non-descriptive, then what's the point? It's like telling someone they're crazy. What does that even mean anymore? That the other person doesn't understand them, or that they need medication in high doses? Or perhaps, say you're told that "you rock". Well, thanks, but so what.

Steph, she seems like she'd pick me up from the airport and not complain about it.

Or.

Steph, she's always late but it's never intentional.

Those are descriptions that anyone can give and they're far more meaningful. It shouldn't be about Thesaurus words, it should be about painting a picture of Steph and the site with broad and short strokes and then stepping back and just being happy that both exist.

P.S. I realize that this diatribe was about stupid web tricks but something (read above) about those sites really bugged the shit outta me so there you are. And no offense towards The Steph for using them, they just got me thinking is all.

I was walking along an ocean beach one day and walked out on to the pier. There was a fellah catching lobsters with a trap he was lowering down on a rope.

I noticed that he had a bucket with quite a few lobsters already in it.

So I sez to the fellah, "You should put a cover on that bucket so that the lobsters don't crawl out."

The fellah responds, "There's no need for that, they're Canadian lobster."

I sez, "I don't understand, what does that have to do with them getting out."

The fellah says, "They're Canadian lobsters, as soon as one gets near the top the others will pull him back down."

Moral of the story: Steph my dear you are doing a whole lot that is right.

You are at a unique place in your life. The lessons of childhood/university are ending and an entire lifetime sits in front of you, for you alone to shape based on your dreams.

And when all else fails I can refer to Thoreau;

"Public opinion is a weak tyrant compared with our own private opinion."
...
"But man's capacities have never been measured; nor are we to judge of what he can do by any precedents, so little has been tried."

If I bought into the crap people said about me I would still be living on the street. But that's another story...

P.S. Happy Valentines

p.p.s. Strawberries are on sale at the Dominion

I could write you a from-warfield letter too, but let´s keep it slim:

Even if all of this is but a glimpse of the whole Steph, you can´t help being you -a witty one, by the way-.

But we love the person you are, cub (can´t help it). Now go grab a pan and fry my cerebelum, I´m starving ye know.

So... I finally looked at this thingy that everyone's been raving about, and I just have one question in regards to yours:

Can a person actually be "boring" and "chaotic" at the same time? :P

(oh... and there's a mistake in that list. My name is spelled with a "z" not an "s", and you are *definitely* not me.)

:D

I said "distant", though that isn't really the right word. "Guarded", I think, would be more appropriate. You share a lot of your life, but at the same time you are VERY choosy about what aspects you share. This isn't criticism, I actually find it very ladylike. But I think that you share more of your predilections than your inner thoughts. This has definitely been changing lately, your blog updates have been more personal and more frequent. But for a long stretch of time, there was much more about bellydancing and gadgets and such than what's going on in your life and in your head. And still, I've yet to see you get really ranty or rambly and just get things out of your head and into the open. You're much more likely to say, "I'm sad" than write a bunch of tearful paragraphs. You live a public life but you don't really talk about why. You're hardworking and brilliant and while I know that you're passionate I haven't seen many empassioned industry rants and opinions; you're more likely to say what jobs or classes or topics you like. Does that make sense? Despite how much you share, I still consider you an overall private person. You have your inner support network, but there is definitely a strong wall between Stephanie and StephTheGeek.

I don't have the knowledge of knowing you personally. To be honest, I kind of did what I did as a joke, basing it off what tidbits I learn from here or the site itself. Its definitely biased on my part. If any offense was taken, it was strictly unintentional.

Besides, such questions drift over on my side of the things: Who am I, a complete stranger, to speak about one whom I have not met personally before? How accurate can tidbits found here and there be, especially on the internet?

Bah, again, it seems that if my immaturity has caused trouble, casualties or personal injury, I apologize.

Ditto what Erica said.